Mike King, New Zealand comedian turned mental health advocate, has won New Zealander of the year. Mike has done much for mental health particularly men’s mental health.
So, I thought I’d write a piece on mental health from a personal point of view and some thoughts about why so many young sportsmen (not saying women don’t – I just don’t have first hand experience with it so best not to comment) have issue with their head space.
Some years ago I was diagnosed with depression. Clinical depression. I have been a sportsman my entire life, from swimming to rugby to surf lifesaving to athletics and of course, golf. I never really felt as though I fitted in even when I was playing at representative level. I never felt good enough. I have been a golf professional for a while now (though don’t work in the industry any longer) and didn’t really fit in with the typical golf pro scene. There were guys who had played their whole lives and those who knew each other from representative days and I felt like I didn’t belong. The truth of it was that I simply suffered from a crippling self-doubt. As a result I tried to make the golf world around me change. I should have known a sport like golf where tradition supersedes progress, that was a mistake. I should have also realised that in order to affect change, one probably needs to build a team that is smarter and more passionate than oneself. I didn’t.
As a result, my depression and anxiety got deeper and deeper. It manifested itself as anger and in a lot of instances would have been seen as a difficult prick trying to beat up the system for no reason. For that I do apologise. The self doubt and feelings of low self worth meant I kept everyone, and I mean everyone, at arms length. There are very few people that actually know who I am at all. 42 years of total loneliness. Loneliness that is well documented to have an effect on your health and is linked to cancer and other nasty afflictions. I got fat, being a big fulla already, my knees ached and generally felt like shit. Relationships suffered.
I see many modern sports stars that have the same problem. Not necessarily with self worth but with depression, broadly speaking. I have personal friends (obviously not too close) who are hugely successful sportsmen that suffer day-to-day with the disease. It’s a relatively small corner of the population, but it’s something I care about.
Why would these guys, and presumably girls, have depressive illness?
Let us point a few fingers.
The amount of pure stimuli available today is staggering and continues to grow daily. Devices, telly, road signs, car dashboards, computers, scoreboards, instant replays – you name it, visually, it’s everywhere. Other stimuli like energy drinks, supplements, actually working out, and being told you are invincible while getting paid massive amounts of money then being told by some troll on social media that you’re hopeless while being looked at through a microscope by traditional media for any wrong step, must be awful. It’s bad enough as a regular citizen!
We can’t possibly expect that with the systems that we have in place currently will handle the slip-ups that happen from time to time or the depressive illnesses that result. We can’t stop the world from stimulating our brains – it will continue to grow but we have seen a small shift to the more rustic and traditional in various markets. Books and hand made goods, for example, have made a comeback rather than the mass produced or online versions. Possibly such an approach could be used for our sports people. I would suggest that guys like David Niethe (http://davidniethecoach.com/), a mental performance expert, have been doing just that with some eye-opening results. I am reminded of the NRL that has scandal after scandal with young blokes who have gone from school kid to rich 20-something who gets paid to play footy and workout, has women throwing themselves at them, drugs on tap, and weekly travel, and we wonder why some step over the line. Not that we should excuse bad behaviour, but we could look to understand it. Most of the NRL players seem to be pretty good humans though and have good support.
I have been doing some work lately on my own mental health. Being mental certainly means that you have to put the work in to be less mental. I have cut right back on the anti-depressants, stopped taking pain-killers unnecessarily, tried to eat better (I’m still quite partial to a Quarter Pounder and chocolate) and have made an effort to do things that make you feel better for doing them. In other words getting pleasure from doing a task that is beneficial like cooking dinner. The result of course with more serotonin one is calmer, happier and more dominant. Not aggressive but more an alpha type which for success would seem to be part of the job description. Imagine the All Blacks with no mental health issues – 23 dominant personalities playing with no pain and playing for the fun of it. Good times.
If you are experiencing mental health issues – seek help. Now. Don’t put it off. I did for 30-odd years and finally after 42, am getting some answers to my own personal mystery. For sports people whose whole life is solely based on themselves it’s easy to forget that when they need help they look at it from a sort of ‘me, me, me’ attitude. Cries for help come in all shapes and forms. If you know someone who needs the help, give it to them. Another suicide is not what’s needed. Another scandal is not what’s needed. Be safe, give help when it’s needed and get it when you need it. Thank goodness for guys like Mike King and Sir John Kirwan.
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